When Emilio sat down with me to watch the end of the Rangers-A's game on Tuesday , we had the following exchange:
Emi: Who do you want to win this game, Dad?
Me: The Rangers.
Emi: Awwww (with a tone of disappointment). But they always win.
Just think of that: Emilio lives in a world in which the Rangers always win.
It was after Emi's bedtime on Tuesday night when he and I watched Nelson Cruz hit a walk-off, two-run homer in the bottom of the tenth to give Texas a 3-1 victory.
On our return to the park on Sycamore School Road, just west of the Sonic, we had another frightening run in with the Dumpling Monster. Unfortunately, I was, once again, asleep again during his visit, but Mari was able to get this footage of the encounter. Some have floated the chilling claim that this video reveals how the Monster used my body as a host. I tremble at the suggestion--but don't believe it. Watch carefully and decide for yourself.
Lesson #1: Taking a Dive (pretend that the ground has been swept out from under you).
Lesson #2: Launching Yourself for the Header.
Lesson #3: It may eventually come to this: penalty kicks in overtime, Emi's in goal. Best of five wins. Any ball that Emi can catch is a victory for us.
Our boys (Spain? The U.S.?) kick first and score. Can Emi keep the bad guys out? (For the purposes of this fantasy video series, John Dan is "the bad guys," and he is trying to get the soccer ball past Emi (not throw it to him).
1-1. Our boys score again (to go up 2-1) and Emi is asked to give the advantage to his team.
Our boys miss! If Emi can't stop this kick, we'll be down: 2-3.
We're now up, 3-2. If Emi can stop this kick, we'll be one goal away from victory.
Though Emi got his hands on that last one, it was deemed over the line. The opposing goalkeeper blocked our most recent kick, putting all the pressure on Emi. It's 3-3. If the bad guys score, they win. Can Emi make the stop?
Lesson #4: Sudden death is upon us! Our guys have put it in the net. If Emi gets this stop, the World Cup is ours.
Lots of Emi's friends at school have Nintendo DS handheld consoles, and Emi recently got lost in that world when visiting his cousin, Olivia. We are not interested in joining the DS club, but we have enjoyed bringing the Super Mario Brothers game to life in our living room. All you need to know to understand the following videos is that the floor is hot molten lava: touch it and you're a goner, unless you are Volcano Man, in which case you can walk on the surface of the lava and film the action without endangerment. The challenge: to circumnavigate the living room by jumping from couch to trunk to rocking chair to couch to couch to bench, stepping on strategically placed floor pillows along the way until you get back to the starting point. Mari holds the reset button.
Thursday night was the first time that Emilio sat down with me to pay close attention to a sports event for an extended amount of time, as we watched innings 6 through 9 of the Rangers game against the Angels. Surprisingly, the Rangers actually rewarded us for our troubles.
Coming in to this, the opening game of a four-game series, the Rangers were in the unusual position of leading the division--and the second-place Angels--in late July. Not only that, we were leading the division by a league-leading five games. Newly acquired pitcher Cliff Lee got his third start--which was great for Emilio because this guy must work as fast as anybody in MLB history. It's all strikes, and no more than ten pitches in the 7th, the 8th, or the 9th. Emilio pointed out that his name is like that of Clifford, the Big Red Dog, and after that, we started calling him "Clifford."
Emilio already sort of knew the name of 3B Michael Young, whose image is preserved in nesting doll form at Aunt Carolyn's house, and I've been trying to get him used to hearing "Vladi-Dadi," the nickname of first-year Ranger, Vladimir Guerrero. When Vladi came to bat, I'd say "C'mon, Vladi; show us your Dadi." I pointed out the last name of our best player, outfielder Josh Hamilton, is the same as the middle name of Emilio's grandfather and his uncle Brian. When Hamilton came to bat, I'd call out "Josh-U-A: Show us the way!" and sing "Joshua fi't the battle of Jericho . . . " (Emi didn't reach the point of joining me in these rituals, but I think he'll eventually come around.) I pointed out that OF Nelson Cruz has the same name as Aunt Judy and cousins Gary, Amy, Noah, and Daniel (the family Nelsons Emi remembers meeting). And we talked about how SS Elvis Andrus has the same name as the Beatles' friend, Elvis Presley. I didn't manage to generate a hook for the remaining starters: C Bengie Molina, 1B Chris Davis, 2B Ian Kinsler (though, I noted his tall red socks), or CF Julio Borbon. It was easy to work with RP Neftali Feliz, whose last name is easily readable. "Hazme feliz!" was the call.
In the bottom of the sixth, Josh-U-A broke a 1 to 1 tie, by doubling in Vladi-Dadi (see image at right). Later, C Bengie Molina sac-flied Josh-U-A in for a third run. We missed Angel Mike Napoli's homer in the top of the seventh because we were in the kitchen eating the remnants of a Blueberry Muffin experiment gone wrong (it was actually kinda tasty). Over the course of the remaining innings, I showed Emi who the ump was and how he signals good pitches and bad pitches. I am looking forward to future experiences like this one in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead of us.
Final score: Rangers 3, Angels 2. And the Rangers lead in the AL West increases to 6 games.
Click here for highlights (of the game, not the spectator work).
You never know how you will respond when crisis strikes, but at Jenna and Jacob's birthday party on Saturday, we got a little picture of Emilio demonstrating extraordinary gallantry under pressure. The following 35-second video begins innocuously enough. Emilio and his classmate Bella are enjoying the backyard Bouncy Castle. Nina makes a brief visit, thinks better of it, and retreats to sounder ground. At about the 25-second mark, a faint thumping sound can be heard; it is the tube that connects the air pump to the castle. It has become disconnected, and in a matter of seconds the Great Castle will begin to collapse on itself, much like Poe's House of Usher. Emilio apprises the situation and immediately attends to his classmate Bella, to make sure she understands the gravity of their predicament, risking his own safety to ensure hers. It was a moment George Costanza surely would have appreciated.
After the trauma, Emilio and Bella return to their jumping ways. Emi makes sure that Bella sees him flipping on his head. Bella invites Emi to watch her bouncing on her rear. Emi answers with a bounce of his own and challenges Bella to deny its awesomeness. She does not deny it. When Bella completes a full belly bounce, Emi redirects, sharing the impressive news that Isabel's mom (the party hostess) knows him. He has seen her a lot of times. Bouncing resumes.